Round Up: April Fools Jokes From Around the Cycling Industry - 2024

We all need some laughs once in a while. We hope you enjoyed some of the finest pink bikes of Pinkbike this morning. Here are some of the other jokes we've spotted from around the bike industry:

---

PRESS RELEASE: HOPE GETS SMART WITH APP AND HUB CONNECTIVITY.

Hope Tech, leading bicycle manufacturer delves into the tech world with new app.

Users of the new Smart Freehub* and Hope smartHub app can easily tune & customise their hub. The new integration removes the need to swap freehub bodies and gives the user the opportunity to bring back hub sounds from the past.

Now, riders select the hub model of their choice, and the freehub type at the press of a button meaning no more time spent switching freehub bodies and more time riding. The pièce de resistance the Hub sound selector. Scroll through the back catalogue of Hope Hub sounds and choose your favourite. Enjoy the buzz of a Bulb or remind yourselves of the days of the Pro 2 evo.

“We’ve seen the revival of vinyl and analogue film, so why not use tech to bring back the Hope sounds of old. Customers tell us all the time how they miss the noise of Pro 2 or the buzz of an older hub, so we thought why not give them the option.”

Selecting the soundtrack to your ride has never been easier.

---

PRESS RELEASE: What Canfield Really Means


Where Performance Grows

It's a common misconception that Canfield Bikes is named after Lance Canfield.

While our owner, engineer and designer's last name certainly is fortuitous, our brand name comes from the source of our frames. Locally sourced, organic, non-GMO, ethically raised and infinitely recyclable, the aluminum used in our frames is harvested from the legendary Field of Cans, also affectionately known as the "Can Field."

Its exact location is a heavily guarded secret, but it's where we grow both our 6 and 7-thousand series aluminum. We plant, tend and grow our aluminum seeds for an optimal combination of strength and weight. We say suportive, nurturing things to them. Sometimes we even sleep in the field with them.


Every spring, cans sprout and when they're ripe, we carefully harvest them before they are milled with love and extruded for tubing or machined for other frame parts and components.

While Lance's dialed suspension kinematics and geometry are why Canfield bikes ride as awesome as they do, performance starts at the source.

From field to trail, every Canfield bike is grown with love.

Now you know.

CanfieldBikes.com

---

PRESS RELEASE: COQS - Computer Optimized Quick Stiffener


“What if you could bring the inherently confidence-inspiring ride quality of a dual-crown fork to a long-travel enduro fork, or even add more stiffness to an already burly DH setup?"

The grey area between the ferocity of downhill riding, repeated bike park laps, and aggressive trail riding that can benefit hugely from a system that allows real-time stiffness optimization in the fork when you need it, yet retains flexible compliance when you don’t.

With the help of Computer-Aided Design, Fused Deposition Modeling, feedback from some of the best riders at this one trail, and designed by one of the product designers of all time, a new era of mountain bicycling has dawned:

Riders, it’s time to grab your COQS: Computer Optimized Quick Stiffener.

COQS revolutionizes the already innovative “bolt on, quick swap” (BOQS) mudguard system first introduced by CavaNero in 2021 and works to increases rigidity between the fork and frame in real time, at every single fork compression. All you need to do is swap out your existing BOQS fender and replace it with COQS.

How it works:

First, a specially designed stanchion, aligned exactly to the fork’s steerer tube opening, travels upward and into the cavity, creating an additional interface between the fork and the bike frame. More surface area between fork steerer and frame equals more rigidity. Simple.


However, unlike a heavier dual-crown fork, this interface is instantaneous and only exists during suspension compression, when the most force is exerted onto the bike. Upon rebound, the COQS shaft exits the fork steerer and normal fork compliance returns. This process happens automatically without any further rider input.

Next, a specially designed bottom out bumper at the base of the stanchion is designed to absorb any particularly harsh hits when COQS smashes upward against the fork crown. A low-density cavity combined with surface ridges ensure that impact forces dissipate through the fender and not through the frame.

All of this means that on the most demanding terrain, COQS leaves the rider feeling confident to push harder and send deeper than ever. And of course, mud deflection remains, keeping stanchions clean and your face safe from spray.

Warning: due to the addictive nature of aggressive riding, equipping COQS on your bike may cause extra wear and tear on the frame, as well as excessive fatigue in the arms and hands of a rider, so it is highly recommended to not ride for more than 4 hours at a time, and to hydrate accordingly. Finally, it is not recommended for use by riders under age 18.

---

PRESS RELEASE: Neutron Components debuts Brake Butter for tuneable modulation

The MTB industry has always been a business of trends. First it was wheel size – first big, then small, then one of each. Then came the era of radical geometry, with brands all vying for power in an arms race for the longest, lowest, and slackest bike on the market. And now it seems we’ve ushered in the dawn of the planet of the brakes; more pistons, more power, and undoubtedly more pricey.

Like with any trend though, we’ve taken it just a bit too bloody far.

With the introduction of the Maven a little over a month ago, and SRAM’s recommendation that most riders should actually downsize their rotors and switch to resin pads, we knew that something had to be done. So we put our in-house chemistry team to work and, after days of gruelling formulation and testing, are pleased to present to market the world’s first MTB-specific rotor lubricant: Brake Butter.


So how does it work? Well the secret is in our Faux Crashima Coating; by suspending nano-particles of Oxygenated Tert-Butylamine in a matrix of low-shear scoparium we’ve been able to strike the perfect balance between not-quite- and just-enough braking power. Our engineers have packaged that all up in a specially-developed polymer shell with integrated helical butter delivery device to allow riders to adjust their brake modulation with pinpoint accuracy.


That may all sound very complicated, but the good news is that Brake Butter is extraordinarily easy to use. If your brakes have too much bite and you’d like to increase the amount of modulation, simply apply the slippery end of the applicator to your brake rotor and turn your wheel through one full rotation… and that’s it! As you start your ride the Butter will transfer to your brake pads and quickly adjust your modulation on the move.


Frequently asked questions:
• I’ve put too much Brake Butter on my rotors and now I can’t slow down. How do I remove it?
• Can I put this on my Trickstuff MAXIMA’s or should I have just bought cheaper brakes?
• I’m concerned about the ingredients list, what is tetra ethyl lead?

Further details:
RRP: $49 NZD / $29 USD / $40 CAD
Size: 9 ml / 0.3 fl.oz / 0.08 gill
For all the details head over to neutroncomponents.com

---

PRESS RELEASE: Intend


Those who don't move with the times move with the times. This saying is as catchy as it is true. As we all know, product development in the world of mountain biking has reached a point of stagnation. Suspension travel changes are no longer drastically altering, steering angles and wheelbases have reached an optimum, and even with suspension forks, there isn't much left to further develop, according to Intend. Therefore, the steps presented here are more about evolutions rather than revolutions.

The Intend team, evolving around their company dog Oki, has spent some time pondering what else could be developed further, and has come up with three exciting new innovations.


Unipiece Lowers

For boutique brands, it's currently en vogue to mill things out of solid material. "We can do that too," thought Jannick Schätzle, the skilled CNC operator, and came up with the idea of milling the full lower legs, including dropouts, from solid material. This promises minimal improvements at maximum production costs. After evaluating the company's core principles, it has been determined that this aligns perfectly with the principles of a boutique brand and is a great opportunity to showcase this core point outwardly.
The new lowers are each milled from a solid block of heavy-duty 7075 T6 aluminum. Recycling of the shavings for this product is uncertain, as the machine often mills other parts as well, and the purity of the shavings cannot be guaranteed.



Lower Blades

In addition to the milled tube/dropout unit, these expensive parts will now also be protected with guards, known as Lower Blades. It would be ecologically catastrophic if the intricately manufactured lowers were rendered unusable due to scratches. The milling machine is also utilized here. In painstaking work (individually tracing the milling lines), the guards are milled from solid material, and subsequently hard-anodized to prevent scratches from visibly scraping into the aluminum. These guards are garnished with three fine black titanium screws to firmly install them onto the one-piece lowers.




U-Turn-Izer
Last but not least, Intend has also significantly further developed the internals. The nearly frictionless air spring has now been optimized. Following the marketing principles of the big players, Intend claims that the optimum has been further optimized. Mathematically impossible, but certainly feasible in marketing terms. Not only has the friction been reduced, but according to Intend, the travel can also be adjusted as desired. The so-called U-turn-izer in the air spring looks as follows.


Price & Availability

Due to the elaborate production process, there are delays in delivery. This is also one of the core competencies of boutique brands, offering products that they do not yet have in stock. Company CEO Cornelius Kapfinger states that Intend would lose its economic foundation if they did not act according to their core competencies. Therefore, the availability of the new parts is not guaranteed for now.
Prices are not provided upon request; Intend BC justifies this by stating that if a customer asks for them, they probably don't have enough anyway. Therefore, a price indication would be irrelevant.

---

---

---

Sick of Sweet Energy Gels? This Beef Stew Flavor Sports Nutrition Is Coming to Save You.

'Cycling in Flanders' tourist organization launches Stoofvlees-friet flavor gels, available as of ... April 2.

Fed up with the same old sweet’n’sickly cake, cola, and caramel flavored energy gels?

Fear not, “Cycling in Flanders” has got your back.

The Belgian tourist organization claims to have produced its own limited-edition beef stew and fries flavor sports fuel, and it’s due for release Tuesday – just one day after April Fools Day.

“Flanders is famous for its delicious Belgian fries, often accompanied by a hearty beef stew: Stoofvlees-friet, which is mouth-wateringly good. Especially after a bike ride on the bergs and cobbles of Flanders,” read a product release from Cycling in Flanders.

“We realized that not everyone has experienced these delights. This is why we created the perfect synergy: energy gels inspired by our top classic Flemish dish: stoofvlees-friet!”

Stoofvless is a staple of any Flemish bar or brasserie menu.

It’s a rich, unctuous concoction of slow-cooked beef in a mustard and beer gravy, and the perfect gut-liner before or after a few too many tripels.

Read more here.

---

Ratio Technology Announce Ovalsized Jockey Wheels

Ratio refine drivetrain efficiency by reducing chain articulation angle through the derailleur cage with Ovalsized Jockey wheels, for when Oversized Jockey Wheels simply aren't efficient enough.

Press Release

Here at Ratio, we prioritize three aspects in every product: efficiency, efficiency, and efficiency. Would it have been more efficient to say that once? Not when it comes to our latest product, the Ovalsized™ Jockey Wheels.

Using the latest biomimicry techniques, we’ve taken inspiration from dinosaur eggs to optimize the local curvature at a continuum of points around the circumference of each of our Ovalsized™ jockeys. Maximum efficiency is achieved twice in each jockey’s rotation cycle, when the reduced articulation angle of each engaged chain link decreases fatigue and induces psych by up to 37%.

Each 20 tooth jockey wheel is designed specifically for use with a 40 tooth chainring; not only does peak efficiency occur four times per cycle – helping you over top dead centre – but the variable chain take-up preloads the derailleur’s cage spring, increasing chain tension to propel you forwards.

Please note: As the Ovalsized™ jockeys induce cyclic variations in B gap, we recommend only shifting when the upper jockey wheel is at 67 degrees rotation relative to datum for peak shift performance. It’ll be a total arse at first but don’t worry – you’ll get used to it.

The Ratio Ovalsized™ Jockey Wheel system is ovalailable (see what we did there?) now at ratiotechnology.com for £1,234/€3,421/$3,142.

Coming soon: Ceramic Ovalsized™ Jockey Wheels. Choose from porcelain, terracotta and bone china. Note that we are unable to warranty terracotta, and do not recommend dropping any of them.

---

---

---