The Pinkbike Podcast: Episode 35 - Things in the Woods (Story Time Edition with RC)

 I was on a relatively remote trail and rode past these two people sponge/ rag bathing each other in a creek. It was odd but not the weirdest thing and I just kept going. I figured they were just through hikers washing off or something. The forest is really thick so I knew I would be out of sight within a few yards. About a minute down the trail, I rolled upon more people in what I can only describe as a cult camp. All were wearing weird robe outfits with long, disheveled beards and hair. They were chanting together and were living in odd teepee/ yurt sort of things. They set this thing up right on the trail and because of this, I rode right through the middle of their 'community'. I smile and continue to carry on and they, in return, scowl and begin to move in on me from both sides of the trail, still chanting, with arms and hands extended seemingly wanting to grab me. My smile becomes a terror filled grimace and I start to put the power down to get the hell out of there. I get out of their little village thing and just keep trucking as fast as I can. At first, they were chasing me down the trail but after a few hundred yards, when I looked back again, they had given up.

 I once saw a guy riding a 26” hard tail...and he looked like he was having fun!

 In 2019, I was commuting daily to an office approximately 65 miles from home. Occasionally I would wake up early to make the commute before rush hour began and have enough time for an early morning ride before work.
The morning of Monday October 7, 2019, I arrived at the trailhead at approximately 5am. I geared up, turned on my lights and headed down the trail. 1/4 mile into my ride, heading down a rutted section of trail approaching a water crossing, I spotted something on my right side in my peripheral vision. I first saw a boot and then jeans. As it was October and Halloween was approaching, my first thought was “ha ha, you got me” figuring someone had set up a scarecrow or something as a prank. That thought quickly turned into paralyzing fear as I spotted a pistol on the ground beside the left leg. At hit the brakes and froze. Staring at the body of a man, watching for any sign of movement. Thoughts running through my head of is the person asleep, or playing possum. Possibly came out here drunk and fell asleep. I eventually realized that he was not moving and had to be dead, I then wondered if he had done this to himself or if there was someone else around that could possibly pose a threat to me. I then slowly and as quietly as possible got the hell out of there back to my car. First called my wife so that someone would know what had happened in case something bad happened to me. I then called 911 and waited for police.
Still haven’t fully recovered from the shock of that morning. I guess it’s probably something similar to PTSD. Eventually revisited the spot during the day to convince myself that there is nothing there to fear.

 Sign me up for ANYTHING with RC. This is the Christmas gift I needed!

 Some great stories here but how about an article for Halloween next year that asks a selection of pro riders what the weirdest thing they have seen on a ride?

 This is interesting as i had a weird thing happen a couple weeks ago. I was climbing up a pretty popular fireroad, and i come around a corner to see a guy, about 100 yards up, just pooping right on the side, pants around his ankles, with his little dog staring at him. Not sure why he wouldn't go like 10 yards off the road as it's pretty forested. anyways, I figured he would see me and like cover up or something but he looked right at me, and continued his business, so i pulled over and hung out for a bit. finally he finished up so i started climbing again, and as i got closer he hurriedly searched himself for a dog poop bag, and then said "Hey man, how's it going, just cleaning up after my dog". So strange. I replied "I mean, you looked right at me, so...." and he said "Hey, any chance i could borrow some money? i need about $3.50". At this point i realized he was about 20ft tall and kinda looked like a sea monster.

 I was prospecting alone deep in the NWT wilderness about a 1.5 hour helicopter ride from the nearest road and I found a duffle bag in the woods. Hollywood had conditioned me to think that it was either drugs, cash, or a body. I slowly approached and poked it with my hammer to see how squishy it was. Turns out it must have fallen out of a net under a helicopter going to a exploration camp and had clothes, a sleeping bag, and a bottle of scotch still intact!

 I was climbing up the Rocky Peak fire road in Simi with some real bros back in February. We could tell there was a movie being filmed since the road was lined with unmarked box trucks, trailers and generators. Near the top of the climb, we looked back and on the other side of a ridge was a large group of storm troopers. I feared the worst, that the Empire had returned. Luckily I found out last week it was just S2:E6 of The Mandalorian being filmed.

 Question:
Who is riding the enduro bikes on the Video? Because it doesn’t seems to be Kazimer. The guy is on the same trails as Levy was with the trail bikes, and he is running the front brake on the right.
Did Kaz rode the bikes home to review? Then shipped them to bc for someone to ride them and get filmed? Or did he finish the underground tunnel to BC and made it across? ????????

 By far best episode ever, RC is a real treat. And the commenter stories here are great also. As long as I've been riding, I've got nothing like any of that. Guess I've lived a sheltered existence.

 I have a local trail near my place that has a clearing 50 meters away from a road with some that linked to another part of the bush where me and my buddies made some dirt jumps. I was walking my dog up there after dark for his nightly shit when he ran down the trail and started barking. I freaked and thought crap, there is someone or something there, I high tailed it out of there calling my dog out of the bush up to the road above. The next morning I grabbed my dirt jumper and headed up for a peek to see if anything was left that might reveal what was there. Halfway down the clearing there was a current model BMW racy looking sports car that had driven down the side of the rocky undulating old fire access trail which almost seemed impossible to do. It was super low and had damaged all the skirts of the body kit around the car. I thought geez that thing has had to have been stolen and went in for a closer look to see if there was any evidence as to what had happened. Things got even weirder when when I got closer to inspect. It had a note written messily in ink on a napkin placed on the dash to say "I will be back soon, gone to get petrol" and on the passenger seat it was like someone had had a feast on KFC with all the wrappers and half eaten food. I felt uneasy walking around the car and thought it might be time to message my buddy who is a copper the pics. He didn't reply for hours and then when I saw him that arvo I hit him up about what had happened. Apparently who ever owned the sweet BMW had their last supper of KFC down there and gassed themselves to death in the boot of the car. It is strange to think he was actually in the middle of it all when I was headed down there that night and that he was in the boot the whole time I was inspecting it and taking pics. I still have the photos on my phone and they are very eerie to look at.

 Somewhere around Ft. Brag California (road trip from BC) my Wife and I were finishing up a long pedal cruising a downhill double track section when we come around a corner into a big group of guys wearing orange jumpsuits and white T’s carrying shovels or picks, as well as a couple shotgun toting prison guards. Yep we rode through the middle of a prison work crew! It looked so stereo typical I thought we rode into a movie set, but no Cameras, no crew there was a fire truck as well so I guess they might’ve been working on fire mitigation.. we didn’t exactly stop and chat.

 Fly fishing when I was younger out in the middle of nowhere near Potter Valley in N. Cal. I was hiking out of the Eel river valley bushwhacking up the mountain when I heard a whistle. I stoped and looked around, didn't see anything and kept going. I then heard another whistle so I stopped again. That is when I saw the cartel dude with an AK-47 leaning against a tree. I made a 180 pivot kept my head straight and walked back down the way I came up. As soon as I was out of sight I ran like hell just incase the guy decided to change his mind. If it wasn't for the fishing gear, I think there is a chance I would have gotten dropped right there. A relative of mine who also lives up in rural Mendo told me a story recently about hearing screaming coming from the hillside above his property. Later that night, a neighbor drove past some guy covered in blood carrying a machete walking blindly down the road. I spent my childhood being able to explore those mountains without a worry in the world. I would come across some hippie's pot patch once in while but there was nothing to worry about, just keep going.

 A guy on a horse dressed like he was out of the civil war asking me where the magical mushrooms could be found (really deep in the woods), a nudist commune, moonshine stills, lost people, people looking for lost people that were hunting and haven't had their medications in days, people in anime costumes, the Brown Mountain Lights, and then some.

 First Moab bike trip in 2001, two good riding buddies and I went out for an afternoon trail ride to find the Poison Spider trail. At the time hand-held GPS units were not that good and smartphones were the ones with caller ID (aka didn't exist) and we had paper maps, needless to say we got lost. We ended up on a quad trail trying to find any cairn in site while it was starting to get dark fast. We talked about spending the night if we had no other choice after dark. Further on (hiking in deep sand) we came across a white late model truck, no tire tracks in the sand indicating direction it came from and chuck blocks under the wheels told us it was parked for a specific reason, unknown to us. We didn't feel like spending the night next to this unknown vehicle and continued until, by complete luck, we found jeep taillights. We quickly caught up to a group of 3 rolling Jeep's and without saying a word to the drivers, we rode next to these Jeep's for miles while using their headlights to see the ground as they, again by complete luck, lead us back to our car. Not the craziest story, but one I won't forget and makes me thankful for the lessons learned that day.

 Riding a popular urban trail center outside of Oakland CA, I hear the guy I'm following cry out "Ahhh! Oh No! NO NO NO!"
I was just about to brake check when I see it... someone had explosive diarrhea square in the center of this single track.
Thank god I know how to bunny hop.

 When I was living in Iowa and riding at one of my local small and twisty trail systems, I rode by a couple doing the dirty in the dirt. They were maybe 20 yards off the trail and in the inside of a sweeping turn. In the moment the turn seemed to take me forever as I realized what was happening and that they knew that I saw them. Thanks to the winding nature of the trail system I saw the same couple a few minutes later making their way back to the parking lot. Yes it was awkward.

 Plenty of drunk gun wielding people around here. I've also escaped a mugging on a ride, that was fun. Bumped into a DOJ work crew, a few abandoned stills, a possibly stolen and stripped truck, and gators. I was also riding out at this place that my family normally brings my dog to for rides, and one of my family members bumped into a full grown rattlesnake.

 This was 2015 some time in November. We were having a fairly mild and dry fall so far and I was getting alot of epic riding in. I had just purchased a brand new DH bike and was itching to ride it, but it was later in the day when I finally had it put together,, so I loaded it up and headed to sandy ridge figuring i would have time to push up the road for 1 lap down of something , I didn't care! As I was pushing my devinci Wilson up the road, dark clouds started to roll in fast, the wind started to pick up and weather was turning bad quickly. Just as I got close to the entrance of little monkey and tnt trials about a 1/3 the way up the road the sky opened up and it started to pour rian and I see a massive crack of lightning on hit the top of the ridge. Within a minute, water was running down the sides of the road, i was completely soaked! Saying screw this noise, I dropped into little monkey. Just as i did the rain had picked up even more, the trial was now a river, I could barely see, then not 1 but 3 massive lightning strikes happen and they are so close I see the 1st 2 hit in the trees right in front of me, then something hits the top of my helmet and left shoulder super hard. Realizing a large tree had just fallen right behind me and hit me. I let off the brakes and rode as fast as I could back to the parking lot.

 Why did you cut off RC?? I wanted to hear his story about the Nike missile site (45:30) - I don't think anyone would have complained if this podcast exceeded 2 hrs!

 It was fun to hear Kaz talk about the first time he met Levy.

 Question for the pod: Can you share your year-end Strava stats, who rode the most miles, and who climbed the most?

 I night ride (a lot) and undeniably there are times when shit is not right! But most of the time its your own bike echoing and weird equipment rubs that plays with your mind. Also @mikekazimer I've had an agro dude lose his shit on us while hiking open crown land near his property.

 So another sandy ridge story, but I was riding a trial called follow the leader sandy ridges only double black trail (rated that but its a solid single in my opinion) just getting into the good fast and steep stuff a white tial deer bounds out of the bush, lands right in front of me at full stride. I chased him down the trail for maybe 100yrd or so, watching the deer leap and jump over rocks ect with ease right up to a sharp left hand turn, right when I took my eyes off the deer to make the turn on the trial the deer made one final leap straight over the corner into the trees.
Nothing really super crazy, but it was really cool seeing that deer hauling ass right in front of me following the trial.

 See kids, that's why you need to go outside, live life, and get into some shit. Not dangerous or criminal shit, but some shit so that when you're old you'll have cool stories of your own.

 Great episode! loved hearing from RC and I hope you will consider having him be a more regular voice on the podcast. have a question for you all. I have really enjoyed the podcast so far and the anecdotes and experiences you all bring. would you consider doing a sort of storytime type of episode where each of you tell your story and how you got to today? I would really love to hear your experiences and more stories from your life. Either way, keep up the great analysis and commentary; the new episode notification is the highlight of a working week spent listening to podcasts.

 What a drive by RC, I know that road and you need mad skills to drive all out. I guess, when you are being chased on a road you know very well

 I have witnessed all kinds of things over the years. Stills, patches of weed growth, every animal ever it seems like, remnants of car wrecks, abandoned centuries old graves and plenty of odd ritualistic markers (think Blair Witch and go from there) that I never hung around long enough to investigate. Also many viewings (most of which I really did not want to see; the people you come across in the buff are rarely the ones you'd like to see naked) of enchanted moments b/t lovers of all types. Yuck. My fav people encounter occurred when was I riding early one morning on an urban trail. I rounded a blind corner and nearly ran over three gutter punks (and their dog; they always have dogs) sleeping in the middle of the trail. I stopped and exchanged greetings (I am an old punk rocker) and told them they should probably relocate due to other riders soon to be coming through. It's always an adventure.

 There’s nothing like going for a night ride and half way in seeing a fully grown adult man, butt ass naked, clinching his junk and running through the woods.

 Back in the late 80’s when I was young and naive my friends and I went for a night ride through Stanley Park ( a big urban park in Vancouver, BC). We stopped on a mixed use trail for a breather. I saw a man in the forest beside a tree not looking at me, then I saw other men beside trees not looking at me or each other. My friend said let’s get the hell outta here , which we did. It wasn’t until many years later that I figured out why they were there.

 Does anyone know why people used to toss entire bags of porn out int the middle of nowhere???

 Seen all kinds of shit. But first thing that popped into my head was riding along a small river in northern San Diego. Saw some girl dancing on a rock completely nude in the middle of the river, happy as can be.

 About 8 years ago, I had just gotten into mountain biking and was riding with my dad in Thousand Oaks, CA. We got to the top of Rosewood and could hear someone shooting fairly close by. The valley behind those mountains is covered in large ranches, and it wasn't uncommon to hear gunshots, so we didn't think much of it. That was until about a minute later, we heard a bullet ricochet about 20 feet from us. It was one of those whistling sounds you'd hear in old western movies. My dad and I froze for a second, then heard another shot immediately followed by a hiss from the bullet flying by. We got out of there quick after that. I was pretty young and didn't understand the gravity of the situation and how close a subsonic round has to be in order to hear it flying. Since then, Space Mountain / Rosewood has gotten much more crowded and I haven't heard of anyone else getting shot at on the trail.

 Had recently moved back to Ohio. Found some trails that may or may not be legal to ride. About the 5th time out there, I had the felling someone was with me the whole time. Just knew someone was watching me, following me. Old Native American grounds.... haven't been back since. Still got the vibes.

 It was the early 2000’s and I was living in NYC. Did a lot of solo urban riding when hardtails with Monster T’s were popular. Rode up on countless drug deals and users in Central Park and a prostitute and their John in the Financial District.

The most eerie was when once in the Bronx (van cortlandt park) I rode up on a some kind of voodoo ceremony. The person must have heard me and just left, but there was a freshly dead chicken and altar complete with newly lit candles and plate of fresh food. Felt like they were hiding behind a tree watching/waiting so I booked it out of there.

 That's a great episode, love hearing stories like that. The Nike missile site that Kaz talked about in CT still has mountain bike trails leading through it. Don't tell the Government, but I once had a log splitter that used a scavenged hydraulic piston from the blast doors at the missile launch site. Some of the Nike sites (not the one here) had nuclear tipped missiles, and the sites were only protected by chain link fencing and guard dogs. We're really lucky we didn't collectively blow ourselves to smithereens back in those days.

 Lots of private timberland in the northwest that the public has access to. Lots of barely driving motorhomes with a lot of propane bottles surrounding them.

 Honestly this is what your podcast should be. This was so good - RC is a legend and Levy, you’re just a fun and bright personality. And Brian & Kaz are good too .

Spin off another podcast along these lines. Bring people in that have crazy adventure stories. This was great.

 if you guys dont make more of these episodes Im pretty sure it would violate some sort of law. maybe its the 8th amendment or maybe even the Geneva convention. Idk but I could listen to hours of this that hour and 10 felt like 5 minutes and i was kind of pissed off it ended. MORE OF THIS MORE OF THIS MORE OF THIS.

 I was at the end of my ride and coming in to the “Hollywood Hip” at the trailhead entrance. I caught good air and just started to whip when a CHICKEN CAME RUNNING OUT OF THE WOODS CLUCKING! I don’t know how I held on after laughing my ass off.

 Love the podcast and this was the best episode so far! Bring back RC and keep up the great work!

 Levy, when you said Hicks lake I got chills. I’ve never seen anything weird there but I’ve heard it on two separate occasions a few years apart, mid 90s. Both times it was after dark while camping at Hicks lake. It was a roaring howl that lasts for several seconds and ends with a chortley sound similar to a hyena. You can tell it’s big with lungs like a horse. I was heard by several other people and no one had ever heard anything like it before or since.

 I have a riding related story, but didn’t actually involve riding. I was camping a couple of miles away from Angel Fire in the Kit Carson national forest. I had seen a HUGE male cougar near the same camping spot a few months earlier. They’re always around so I don’t think too much about it. At around 2am, I hear a female start screaming. I’m sleeping and had never heard this noise before. I had smoked a super fat blunt a couple of hours before, and was definitely still high. If you’ve never heard this noise before, it sounds like a woman is being tortured. I thought that a group of witches was sacrificing a virgin. I got in my car, smoked some more, and passed out.

 really enjoyed this episode, but could you do something about the sound? RC was so difficult to understand I had to mess with my sound settings

 Once, Me and friend wewre bushwacking our way to find ''new trail'' ( you know two 15-16 years old teenagers wasting time in the wood). After about 1hours of hike a bike, we were beeing beaten done by the heat of sun of July, we took a little break on a 4X4 trail. After like 30 second that we stopped on that trail, my friend just looks besides me and started starring with a ''WTF???'' face. I got a little worried, you know, could be a bear of something... And he starting to laugh so hard ( after a few second of trying to figuring wtf he was seeing), and pointing at something behind me. As I turned around to see, I thought ''eh, I wasn't that far off with my bear. It was a guy with a long fricking beard ( you know like ZZtop), and full of body hair everywhere, that was Butt naked in the woods just chilling around. When he heard laught quite intensly, he did just like a deer on the side of the road at night, stared at us and ran into the woods.

 Levy's singing is a familiar scenario for me. On a quick solo ride when camping with my family I choose a route my wife had previously suggested was not a great idea due to the "bear corridor" signs. After about 1km there was basically not more then 30 meters without a big pile of fairly fresh bear scat. I spent the next hour and a half singing and talk ing to the bears partly so I didn't get eaten, and partly so I didn't hear an " I told you so" when I got home.

FYI I always carry bear spray on solo or group rides in our area.

 Great stories! Yes RC wins.

About the guns in Grizz country. It won’t work, by the time you have ridden up on a bear it is either running from you or charging. If you can get a shot in are you going to be effective? Bears are found with old bullet wounds in their face that heal, meaning they were shot and didn’t die and probably could very well still attack as now they are pissed. You will be better off with bear spray mounted in a water bottle cage, a place familiar and quick to get to and proven more effective at stopping or deterring a Grizz. I live in Montana and ride in bear, mountain lion and moose country and always go out with spray. The times I have seen a bear it is too late to really do much about it and I’m looking at its ass running away from me. If I was looking at its face coming at me I would be f*cked, not enough time to get the spray or a gun. If I can get to the spray it will saturate a large area and make breathing and seeing very hard for the bear. This f*cks them up more than a bullet often and they leave. I know I would not want to crash a bike with a loaded gun either. A gun and hiking I think is different but the high speeds of a bike change the rules. Then there are moose, your hand guns not killing that dude either and then you get stomped.

 RC's instant but casual dismissal of @mikelevy Dams run by dogs, got me good. Haha, gold!

 Wow such a fun episode to listen to!!!! Thanks guys. Y'all need to do a second one!!!

 I came around a corner and caught a dude standing on a large rock jacking off. I didn't make eye contact, so it's fine.

 Big foot stories reminded me of this incredible comic:

www.instagram.com/p/CI0psnUs0_V/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

Great stories this week!

 I see way too many refrigerators at one of my trails.

 Duuuuuude the RC episode! Cant wait to spoil this one up

 Sciency buildings , you know

 I think this was one of your best podcasts to date!

 Kaz, if I had to guess I think that guy was just pissed that you were taking photos of a bike with no room for a bottle cage

 How about a full RC archive link on the page for easy access to all of greatness... Great stuff

 This episode could have been 3 hours longer. Love the stories.

 One of my favourite PB podcasts yet.

 Damnit guys, haven't you ever heard of trailforks?

 aliens prefer 30.5

 never mind, you corrected the bomber name.

 You guys gotta switch strains to something that gives less paranoia.

 Best podcast yet, I love story telling!!

 More trespassing stories, please!

 This was so great. Thank you guys.

 But how did RC get the bike back?!